Gus McCrae: I expected you to own a bank or at least a whorehouse by now Jake. It seems life has been a disappointment to both of us.
Jake Spoon: That might be so, but by God, I ain't never said a word to a pig.
Gus McCrae: Well we don't rent pigs and I figure it's better to say it right out front because a man that does like to rent pigs is... he's hard to stop 
Ethan Snodge: Oh, I dunno. I've had my best conversations wi' a pig.
ReplyDeleteCabel Blagsnott: Makes you a farmer, dunnit?
Ethan Snodge: The thing with pigs, y'see, is they is good listeners. Don't interrupt. Don't offer advice y'don't need. An' don't judge. Quite non-judgemental is yer avridge pig.
Cabel Blagsnott: Yer avridge pig is pretty avridge, an' all.
Ethan Snodge: Oh, I dunno about that, nyver. Roasted until the cracklin' is crisp, an wi' plenny o' apple sauce: seems to me, yer avridge pig gets to be pretty much above avridge.
Cabel Blagsnott: Waal, you got me there, Ethan Snodge...